i keep getting mixed signals from one of my best friends. he’s recently single and we’re super close and have always been flirty (we’ve known each other for…7 years now? and it’s just the nature of our friendship). i never EVER considered him anything more. but there’s been weird things he’s been saying. like how he has something to tell me in person, i’m the most beautiful woman he’s ever known, etc etc; and i’ve had dreams about him and us being a couple. i just don’t know if i’m delirious from being single and lonely, and if this is just him being flirty (i mean, we’ve had many ‘friend love’ convos - i seriously love this dude to death) and enjoying his new singleness or what. part of it scares me, because he’s my dream friend, but not the man of my dreams. and part of it scares me, because what if i’m wrong and he IS the one. i mean, how stupid is this shit? i have been single for 2.5 years now - no dating, had one ‘friends with benefits’ thing a few times, and that’s seriously it. i’ve said how many times i’m so painstakingly lonely, but this is just dropping to a new low if i’m imagining things.
ugh i just think i need to get laid.
we ‘hooked up’ once (aka made out all night) after an exchange my sophomore year and that was fun. and that was it. didn’t change our friendship. probably made it stronger haha. he was just someone that was a blast to hang out with.
and apparently about 2 years ago i was black out drunk, and he made out with me because i looked really hot that night. and i didn’t even find out about that until sometime in the last year! part of me was pissed cuz it’s like dude, i feel like you took advantage of me. part of me felt good cuz it’s like, he couldn’t resist me and at least if something like that is gonna happen he’s someone i absolutely trust to not rape me or something. and part of me was like, wtf we’re friends! and he would still hook up with his ex girlfriend. that would’ve just been an awful situation had i KNOWN about it at the time hahaha.