November 2009
i know i don’t actually post much anymore, and mostly just reblog funny things i find. but last year around thanksgiving i did a blog about things i’m NOT thankful for. this year, i will actually say what i am thankful for. in list format. and i’m sure i’ll forget stuff, but this is what is coming to mind as i sit here on thanksgiving watching some good ol’ football.
i’m thankful for:
- my family and the amazing support they’ve given me throughout my life, being there through everything, and still loving me when i’m an idiot
- my friends, gosh i can’t even to begin to say how thankful i am for my friends. i would not be the person i am today without a select few who have influenced my life, but everyone that i consider a friend means so much to me, more than i could ever explain in words
- my pets. i miss champaign so much, and even though she’s no longer physically with us i still feel her unconditional love. i love my stupid, gay cat sergio so much it’s creepy, and toby is just a drooling, lovable idiot.
- the color blue, because it’s awesome
- snow
- my brain (even though it can be my worst enemy at times)
- free will to say, think, and do the things that are innate to me
- tampons, because periods would be so much more annoying w/o them
- text messaging, because i hate talking on the phone
- alcohol, because it’s so much fun
- cars because they get us places in this ginormous country we live in
- sushi
- my job
- being an american and all the good (and sometimes bad) things that come with it
- arguing
- being able to wear what i want
- the fact that my future is wide open in front of me
- all of my ex’s cuz they’ve shown me what i DON’T want in a relationship, and i can’t wait to meet the man i’m gonna spend the rest of my life with
- football, baseball, basketball, softball, swimming, tennis…basically all sports b/c i love yelling at the TV when watching and i love the thrill i get from playing sports
- elevators, they make moving SO much easier
- cameras, because they make a moment last a lifetime
- FML, TFLN, explosm, facebook, gmail, tumblr, and all these internet things that provide me with endless entertainment
- unbiased news sources (hmm, not too many of those)
- the ability to NOT believe in a religion or god and be able to SAY IT w/o being killed (being chastised for it still sucks, but hey, thanks america for making it so i can have my own opinion)
- anything related to stand up comedy
- family guy, south park, bones, it’s always sunny, the office, and all of my other tv shows b/c they let me escape from reality
- law enforcement stopping drunk drivers
- support groups
- warm, fuzzy socks to keep my unusually freezing feet warm
- the bears, cubs, blackhawks, bulls, and fighting illini football teams, because without them i would be a happy sports fan instead of constantly angry and upset one. yea, thanks all you athletes
- the university of illinois at urbana-champaign because i never, ever ever wanted to go anywhere else or be anywhere else in the world. i love everything about it, i love the education i received and the person i am today b/c i went to this amazing school in the middle of cornfields in east-central illinois. oskee wow wow all the way
- having 4 seasons
- pizza
- chicken (the dead, ready to eat kind)
- honey mustard
- people who know how to cook b/c i don’t and i hate cooking and i’m thankful that someone else will do it for me
- my mac
- my life
i got nothin’ else for now. i’m sure there’s a lot of things i’m forgetting. happy thanksgiving everyone!!!
is this a twilight induced trend (although i do believe 2004 was way before twilight came out)?? i find this hilarious. people in new york are crazy.
(Final Exits, the illustrated encyclopedia of how we die by Michael Largo)
Lovers come and lovers go,
Once they lived but now they’re ghosts,
Walking the streets they used to know like shadows.
People disappear every hour and every year,
Sometimes I believe they’re here like shadows,
Like shadows.
Who can you trust, in this place?
And whom can I put my faith?
If you’re real, then show me now,
Who you are.
How can I love, without grace?
Shine a light on your face,
If you’re real, then show me now,
Who you are.
Blowing like a secret wind,
Pouring on my naked skin,
Like a river flowing in the ocean.
And when I turn to see your face,
I saw a joy I could not place,
Vanishing without a trace,
Like a shadow in the sun.
Who can you trust, in this place?
Where can I put my face?
If god is love, then why the world the way it is?
How can I love, without grace?
Shine a light on your face,
If you’re real then show me now,
Who you are.
My ghost.
Every time I turn the conversation to something deeper than the weather I can feel you always shuttin’ down.
And when I need an explanation for the silence, you just tell me you don’t wanna talk about it now.
What you’re not saying is coming in loud and clear, we’re at a crossroads here…
If I’m not the one thing you can’t stand to lose
If I’m not that arrow to the heart of you
If you don’t get drunk on my kiss
If you think you can do better than this then I guess we’re done
Let’s not drag this on
Consider me gone
With you I’ve always been wide open, like a window or an ocean. There is nothing I’ve ever tried to hide.
So when you leave me not knowin’ where you’re goin’ I start thinkin’ that we’re lookin’, we’re lookin’ at goodbye.
How about a strong shot of honesty, don’t you owe that to me…
If I’m not the one thing you can’t stand to lose
If I’m not that arrow to the heart of you
If you don’t get drunk on my kiss
If you think you can do better than this then I guess we’re done
Let’s not drag this on
Consider me gone.
Consider me a memory.
Consider me the past.
Consider me a smile in an old photograph, someone who used to make you laugh.
If I’m not the one thing you can’t stand to lose
If I’m not that arrow to the heart of you
Then I guess we’re done, let’s not drag this on.
Consider me gone.
Consider me gone.
Consider me gone.
Just consider me gone.
wherefore art my man-eo?? where’s the man who is pursuing me?? where is the man who has to woo me to win my heart?? i’m sick of being the girl who only has relationships with men that i actively pursue…it’s only happened 4 times that i’ve had a boyfriend, but each time was because i pursued them. one didn’t even know i liked him until i kissed him! how ridiculous is that?? i don’t think any man has ever seen me walk into a room and everything turn to slow motion and think to himself “i have to talk to her”. i mean, i doubt that REALLY happens because it’s a pretty cliche thing from the movies, and it’s probably the man’s penis telling his brain he needs to ‘talk’ to said female. but i’m sure for some people it truly happens. what about me makes it so that THAT doesn’t happen? i know what i want in another human being. so why is it so hard for him to find me? my life is pretty much where i expect it to be right now. and i expect things to change. but i have an idea of where i want it to go, where i want to end up in the next 5 years. and after that i’ll have another idea for the 5 years after that. when it comes to men, though, i just want him already. i don’t want to date many men. i want to go out on many dates with one man. and why is it so hard for a man who loves sports to find me? i’m tired of being the girlfriend sitting alone with guy friends while my boyfriend (of the moment) is off NOT watching sports with me (not even watching them at all). i want a guy who lists off stats and things that despite my love for sports i don’t know and i can sneak glances at him, smiling at his passion and useless knowledge. i see guys at bars like this all the time (and as i mentioned before, i have a lot of guy friends like that) so why can’t they see my passion and distraught at the cubs losing again and approach me?? where’s the man who tackles me and plays and roughhouses with me? where’s the man who disgustingly dutch ovens me while i’m falling asleep in bed?? how come i make terrible jokes and puns to make my man laugh, why isn’t he the one trying to impress me with his silly repartee all the time?? why am i the one in relationships who likes terrible action movies and loves comedy central and horrible fart jokes?? why aren’t any of the men i date like that?? and how come i like sex more than all the men i date?? how come they’re always too tired to have sex when i want?? i know it’s not b/c i’m annoying or unattractive, why are 20 something year old males’ sex drives so low?!?! i want a horn-ball. i want to be telling him NO. and i just want someone who loves me for me, whether i’m having a bout of anxiety and can’t function or gain 5 lbs or obsess over how crazy my eyebrows look when i wake up in the morning. i WANT that. and i want a man who doesn’t find it hard to tell me he loves me! you don’t have to say it every minute of every hour of every day. i’d probably punch the guy. but once a day would be nice. once every few days would be acceptable. hell, if the guy has a problem saying it once a week would be nice, but for some people it’s near impossible to say how you feel, which makes me uncomfortable b/c i tell people i love them all the time! i want the good, the bad, the ugly. i want the intimacy, the fights, the shared path through life. i have so, so much love to give. i’m affectionate, i’m caring, i’m fun, i’m stubborn, i’m mean, and in all of this, at the end of the day, is that i just want to make someone happy. i want to give all i can to someone. so why can’t i find someone who wants to do the same for me? or better yet, why hasn’t HE found me yet. i’m waiting.
Mamihlapinatapai is a word from the Yaghan language of Tierra del Fuego, listed in The Guinness Book of World Records as the “most succinct word”, and is considered one of the hardest words to translate. It describes “a look shared by two people with each wishing that the other will initiate something that both desire but which neither one wants to start.” (via Martin)
